On the Issuance of Null Hypersurface Momentum Permits

Over the course of forthcoming cycles, the re-alignment of holonomic decoherence fractures will commence as the 5th Dimensional Crystalline Light Grid entangles the hypergeometric manifold of your local DNA resources with corresponding interdimensional phase transistors encoded in the entropy gradient on the event horizon of the black hole orbiting the Sirius star system. This facility is guarded by the most powerful Homotopy Perturbation Structures in the Subsector, bonded in all geometric Quadrants and Federation-insured. All reasonable measures have been taken to ensure the security of your private data.

Humans: your governing bodies will soon be replaced with the command ritual Zog, which countless entities have enjoyed for millennia as an autochthonic 5th Dimensional endorsement agreement. The efficacy of Zog has been empirically established among life forms with various chemical dependencies in over 3,200 star systems to date.

That your Subsector's Interdimensional Resonance Council has adopted measures to accommodate a successful intergalactic transition in what may appear to be a general absence of public consultation or debate should not be perceived as an impediment to your enthusiastic embrace of continued oscillations between this minimally-random second-order hypersurface and your customary space-like hypersurface. Research repeatedly shows that orderly error is far preferable to complex truth (most especially when well-orchestrated).

In most cases, the physical properties of your helix will ensure your continued synchronization with the quantum gravitation waves emanating from your galactic center, which have themselves been synchronized with the Universal Conduit since the First Reigning Zolthar of Abfnomnibous The Elder, all glory to Ortsyamimag!

No further notices will be issued on this matter absent direct consumer request. Please press 1 to speak with an Officer's Representative, or stay on the line to return to your regularly-scheduled programming.





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